Pudding by the Campfire
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Jaune and Ruby talk about pudding by the campfire.


**Summary:** _Jaune and Ruby talk about pudding by the campfire._

 **Pudding by the Campfire**

"I don't get it," said Jaune.

"What's there to get!? It's so simple! Okay Jaune, look. When a man and woman love each other very much, the man takes his banana and shoves it right into a woman's chocolate cup. And you have to shove it _reeeally_ hard until the banana turns to mush inside the chocolate cup. Then the woman eats the chocolate covered banana and gulps it down! Nine months later, bam! Instant baby. Sort of. Wait nine months." Ruby shrugged. "Uncle Qrow said the most important part is that the banana has to be peeled. Peeled bananas are the best. He called it… circumference-scissors or something?"

"I still don't get it. Why do people do this to make babies…?"

"It's supposed to be feel good! So people do it!" Ruby groaned in frustration. "Fine! I'll show you myself!"

Ruby then whipped out a banana.

"Where did you get that!?" Jaune grabbed the banana out of Ruby's hands and sniffed it. "It's fresh! How did you get a fresh banana in the middle of an coniferous forest!?"

Ruby tilted her head. "What's a condiment-a-ferry-us?"

"Coniferous! Coniferous! You know… evergreen trees! Pinecones! Coniferous!"

Ruby nodded in confusion. "Right… well I picked this up. It was just lying on the ground!"

Jaune gasped. "Ruby! That's stealing! Someone might be missing their banana!"

Ruby waved off Jaune's concerns. "Oh please. Well, here ya go! It's your banana now!"

Jaune held it in his hands. He felt the yellow fruit's mighty girth.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Stick it in my chocolate cup!"

Ruby then whipped out a chocolate pudding cup.

"Where did you get that!?"

"I bought it, duh," Ruby chortled. "Where else?"

Jaune stared at the chocolate cup.

"Is this why we didn't have money for ammo!? You spent our money on pudding cups!?"

Ruby held a finger to her lips. "Sshhhhhh! You'll wake up Ren and Nora!"

Ren and Nora were sleeping peacefully. Nora herself was sprawled over her sleeping bag mumbling about destruction of mankind or conquering Remnant or some other nonsense. Ren was sleeping like a vampire, right down to the crossed arms over his chest.

"So are we really doing this?"

"You… don't want to do it with me?"

"No I mean, I want to… but are you sure you want to make a baby with me?"

Ruby laughed.

"Oh don't worry about that, Jaune! Uncle Qrow says the trick doesn't work if the banana isn't peeled. So just keep your banana covered and don't make it leak. Pull out if you think it's going to burst, okay?"

Jaune nodded as he stood up.

"Okay… it's my first time… so- um- sorry if I suck…"

Ruby placed a soft hand on Jaune's.

"It's okay. I'm sure it'll feel good for both of us!" Ruby said in an excited tone before glancing over to the rest of team RNJR. "Come on, let's go somewhere… a bit more private. This is something you should only do with your lover so…"

A soft hand held onto Jaune's as he was pulled into the dark woods.

"Um… Ruby… are you really okay with me?"

"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be? You're like… my first boyfriend! Literally my first friend that's a boy. Who else would I do it with?"

"I don't know, Ren?"

"Ren kind of belongs to Nora," Ruby replied as they continued deeper into the woods.

"Yeah that's true…" Jaune mumbled. Thoughts of failing Ruby's expectations began to weigh heavily on him. "Are you really fine with me…?"

Ruby paused in a clearing as Jaune bumped into her back. Ruby turned around on her heels. She grabbed Jaune's cheeks with both hands and pulled him close. Jaune could see the smoothness of her skin and her lovely silver eyes in the moonlight.

"Jaune. Listen. I'm only going to say this once…"

Jaune felt his banana harden.

"I'm glad my first time is going to be with you…" Ruby said with a blush.

And so, Jaune proceeded to jam his banana into Ruby's chocolate pudding. The banana was coated in a thick sauce of dark chocolate-ly love. Ruby stifled a moan as occasionally the banana would press against the plastic and poke her. It tickled. Ruby bit her sleeve to suppress the reaction.

"S-sorry…"

"Stop apologizing," Ruby snapped. "Just… keep going…"

And so Jaune continued thrusting.

"Are you feeling good yet?"

"I don't think so. Are you?" Ruby returned the question.

"Kind of? This is fun… sort of…"

Jaune continued thrusting his banana into Ruby's chocolate cup.

After a while, Ruby asked Jaune to stop. Jaune obliged. Taking the unpeeled banana covered in chocolate, Ruby eyed it carefully.

Holding Jaune's banana in one hand, and brushing aside loose strands of hair with the other, Ruby's tongue began licking. She licked the banana's long, thick shaft.

She even took the banana and shoved it into her throat, trying to get all the thick chocolate-ly goodness inside of her.

 _I have to be strong!_ Ruby thought to herself. She steeled her resolve to swallow.

With a quick gulp, Ruby felt the thick, creamy, banana-goo slide down her throat. It tickled. It was overly sweet. Small buds of tears formed on the corner of Ruby's eyes as she forced it down.

"Ruby… don't force yourself."

Jaune watched, unsure what else he could say to encourage her.

He wasn't sure what he was watching but he liked it.

After finally forcing it down, Ruby gave a satisfied gasp. She felt great.

With a devious smile, Ruby she placed Jaune's banana back in his hands.

Jaune's heartbeat jumped several fold at the touch of her slender fingers.

Her lips still smudged with bits of his banana essence and chocolate pudding.

"Liked what you saw?" Ruby asked.

"Definitely," Jaune answered after a moment.

Like a sly little fox, Ruby stepped up to her partner and placed a hand on his chest. Then she whispered something that made Jaune's banana harden ten thousand fold.

"Next time, we won't use a peel…"

 _Bananas by the Campfire Fin_


End file.
